I would leave no trace of thoughts nor pain..
I don't know when..

i would stab myself
or sleep forever
or get knock down
or ...

I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know what's happening.I don't know what's happening.I don't know what's happening.I don't know what's happening.I don't know what's happening.I don't know what's happening.I don't know what's happening.I don't know what's happening.I don't know what's happening.I don't know what's happening.I don't know what's happening.I don't know what's happening.

I really.want.to.die. I wouldn't mind if you kill me right now. I.give.up.

I want to post something nice here, but i'm not in the mood to do so. I'm so :((((( @#$%^&*(%# Life sucks. I need to be satisfied with what I have.

Anyway, thank you bb love for spending time with me these two days. I'm really happy and appreciate it a lot. I'm sorry if I've made you angry/unhappy/disappointed. I know you are trying your best not to show it, but I know you well enough to know what you are feeling even if you don't show it. Thank you for tolerating me even though I know you're unhappy, but my heart aches even more this way. I want you to scold me because i don't want you to be hurt :\ :(

Thank you for being really nice to me these two days. I love you as much as before, I hope you believe me. I'm sorry for being so unreasonable with you sometimes. Sometimes, I just wish for more. I need to stop being unsatisfied with everything. Sigh :(
I hope the following days would be better. (L) You mean so much to me.
xoxo

You may not know it yet, maybe you’ll never even think about it, but I’m special. You’re going to meet a lot of girls throughout your life, and a lot of them will be special to you. But I’m telling you right now, you’ll never find another me.

I just want someone to love me for who I am.


I don't know where to release these emotions anymore.
No, i'm not sad.
Too many thoughts running through my mind I don't know where to release.

I just hope life will be better and I will be happier. That's all I ask for. Don't make me cry anymore okay? A day without tears is probably the best day of my life. I try my best to hold back those tears telling myself that I must not cry because if I do, those tears won't stop. I'm glad to be out of that depressing period and it feels so much better. School isn't my favourite thing but I'll learn to accept it and do my best without unnecessary stress. I'll do things at my own pace, not the hard way.

Proteomics UT on friday and I'm prepared to fail (Y) I'm not even trying to study now.
2 more weeks of school till the supposedly 2 weeks of vacation but fyp have to take over it! :( Anyway, still hope to spend more time with my boyfriend. (I know you will read this, so make time for me please! ty)

I think time flies. Strangers to Lovers, I can't believe everything just happen so quickly.
As far as I know, I still love you.

xoxo

Were promises meant to be kept? Were hearts meant to be broken?
Was love meant to hurt? Were tears meant for broken hearts?

She would rather cause hurt to herself ONCE, than to have her heart broken a million times.
She would rather shed blood, than to cry a river.
She would rather have her organs fail, than to have her mind hurt.
She would rather make everyone else heartbroken, than to see herself cry.

She lost her smile a long time ago
her laughter replaced by tears
nobody knows the pain shes hiding
tears of yesterday haunt her
fears of tomorrow keep her from sleep

the only person who could bring a smile to her face
faded a long time ago
she hides her broken heart
almost as easy as she hides her scars

traces back to what used to make her smile
but that faded a long time ago
all she seems to do is cry her self to sleep
she wishes for all this to end
but when she wakes up she knows her wish hasn't come true

she prays to God to give her the last ounce of strength
to make it though the day
her dreams are full of teenage kisses and suicidal dreams
she longs for someone to kiss her so she might not feel so dead inside
she hopes for somebody to stop this pain

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

Happy Fourth Monthsary Baby.

I love you, more than anything you could think of.
We know it has never been easy, we'll overcome anything and everything. We'll stick through thick and thin, laughter or tears, we'll face it together. I hope I'll be happier, for you sake.
Thank you for teaching me many things in life, letting me learn from my mistakes and flaws and comforting me.
There are many things I love you for, if I would list them down it would take forever.
I'm so dependent on you now, and I trust you all the time. I hope you won't disappoint me any further.

If I could, I would like to tell you how much I love you every second, because I'm afraid that I wouldn't be able to tell you anymore. I wouldn't want to regret not letting you know how much I (L) you.

Hugs&Kisses
xoxoxo

I don't want to appear happy when I'm not.
Keep me sane, baby.
I need to find peace and happiness
I need to get depressing thoughts out of my head
I need to grab hold of myself
I'm sorry to make you worried or scared
I need you by my side
I need you to keep me sane

You don't have to make me happy, just keep me going.
xoxo

Needs to be happy.